Gunna Eat The Whole Cake
formerly "dickk-fil-a"
~
professional lame-ass

rabioheab:

oh

mattressblowoutsale:

FUCK WATER

kiradax:

pros of turning 18: can legally do the stuff i already do
cons of turning 18: no longer the dancing queen

Most adorable nails award goes to me

pallet-town-julie-brown:

kudos to mtv for spreading this message tho

blxckbiird:

spaghetti-western-wannabe:

blxckbiird:

spaghetti-western-wannabe:

blxckbiird:

spaghetti-western-wannabe:

blxckbiird:

spaghetti-western-wannabe:

So I can either bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute.

nick nO THAT’S NOT HOW YOU BAKE COOKIES FRIEND

FLOOR IT?

NICK NO

HOW ABOUT 4,000,000 DEGREES FOR 1 SECOND

NICK YOU ARE GOING TO BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN

I’M GOING TO HARNESS THE FUCKING SUN TO MAKE COOKIES

NICK P L E A S E

Anonymous :  Any good comebacks for plant jokes?

asexualfactoftheday:

"Asexual means you’re a plant"
"Fyuck. shit. fuck. you’ve figured me out. i’m a venus flytrap and i was given this human-seeming vessel as a way to evolve past eating flies. shit. goddamn."

"You can’t be asexual, you’re not a tree."
"don’t harsh my vibe man i’m just out here tryna get a little phosynthesis going on…and suddenly you’re here telling me i can’t eat. i’m honestly feeling so attacked right now."

*generic plant joke*
"please do not impose your fetishes on me thanks"

i mean. i just sort of go on a sarcastic rant about how words are so difficult and confusing and don’t these people know what english is??? it’s a goddamn miracle how dare they tarnish it with their using it how they need to that’s not what language was made for what is this communication bullshit

passthecocaine:

the-hobbit-hair:

passthecocaine:

Excuse me but what is this doing in the potato tag

that does not look like a fucking potato to me

why were you in the potato tag

image

thecreatureblog:

pinknovapolitan:

If the Creatures do end up going to PAX, and you are planning on going to PAX too. Please, just go up to them and hug them. Do not mention anything that happened today. Just hug them and thank them for everything they’ve done for us. Tell them they’re amazing and awesome. 

with previous consent, too

ven0moth:

when your mom calls you home but you just hot boxed the family van (x)

wildphilosoraptor:

fuckyeah-nerdery:

catbountry:

ex-wife:

did-you-kno:

Source 

"When I got my first cat, it changed me. There is something about holding a cat that makes your anger melt away. And if someone does something that upsets me—I have to remember my cat. I can’t keep my cat if I get into trouble.”

"I asked if Major Cabanaw had concerns for the safety of the cats. “Of course, we always want to ensure the safety of the cats, and the staff is great about keeping an eye out for them. But mostly, it’s the offenders keeping them safe. I have never once seen an offender kill his own cat. We screen them to be sure they have no history of animal abuse. But I’ll tell you this, there was a guy killed in here because he had spit soda pop onto someone else’s cat.”"

Wow.

Cats now control the prisons. They now have an army.

This post went exactly where I expected. Well done.

hows:

when someone interrupts you

beyonseh:

image

image

buthed:

*deletes all ur captions before reblogging post*

stayuglystayangry:

shoutout to all the girls + women who have thick, dark, and abundant body hair and have to spend time and energy shaving every single day if they don’t want to be harassed by loved ones + strangers alike

shoutout to all the girls + women who decided its not worth their time, even if they only skip sometimes, and endure criticism, harassment, and stigma as the price for their own freedom of time + comfort

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